Many of us as parents or people who want to have children often worry about the mood changes that come with children's ages. As a pregnant mom with a few children, this is something that is always on my mind, and with one of mine who just entered into the pre-teen years I have become a little more concerned about her actions and attitude as a teenager.
As a family we do what we can to make sure that our kids live life to the fullest, we teach them to care for and look out for each other, teach them to care about others and their feelings, but also teach them to stand up for what they believe in. We want them to know that if they want something bad enough to go for it, not to let anyone talk them down and say that "it can't be done."
The other day I had witnessed an experience with a teenage girl about 15 or 16. I had went for a regular check up at my OB/GYN, I walk in and the place was packed. Over in the far corner of the room is a woman, a teenager girl about 15 or 16 years old, and beside her a teenage boy about the same age as the girl. They were talking pretty loudly for the small office waiting room so everyone could hear. So I signed in and sat down a little ways from them. Now I do not judge people, as I know you can't judge a book by its cover; but these people were very noticeable. On top of being very loud, the boys hair was spray painted a fire engine red color and he was wear chains on his pants, the girl was slouched down in the chair as the boy continued to pick on her, joke with her, ect. The mom was trying to get her to talk about her situation. Apparently the girl was there for a pregnancy test. The mom said "You know we will get through this as a family if you are pregnant." I personally was proud of her for that, she was supporting her child. She proceeded to say "we all make mistakes, but we learn from them and we work on not making them again." Again, I was okay with that, she was trying to be there for her daughter in what had to be a very tough situation. Then came the girls comments, without looking at her mother and continuing to text on her phone, she says "I won't be pregnant." The mother said "well that's what we are here for, to see if you are" The girl still texting and not showing a bit of interest in anything but her cell phone says "I will have an abortion. I WILL NOT BE PREGNANT!" The mother and the boy had left her alone a little while. Then the boy asked "her what are you going to name the baby (then began joking about baby names)". This boy at first I thought he may have been the girls brother or maybe her boyfriend. But to clear that up, he is the mothers boyfriend from what I had heard. He began to tell her that interracial babies are adorable, and they have great names. The more he talked, the more mad she got but she remained quiet. Then all of sudden, she looks at her mom and says "I will have an abortion, I will not be pregnant and not have a child..." as she kept going on I was getting madder and madder, I just wanted to smack her. The mother kept telling her to stop, and finally after about 5 minutes of ranting she did. It took everything I had in me not to say something.
I honestly just found it so disrespectful to be talking about abortion in a room full of pregnant women and other women who may have been trying to have children and couldn't. It angered me, as a good friend of mine has been trying for years to have a baby, she has been through 7 rounds of fertility treatments already, has changed many things in her life, spent lots money, to make her dream of becoming a mother a reality. And this teenager comes in, she did turn out to be pregnant, and wants to have an abortion, publicly announces it to the entire room of most who are pregnant. I found it utterly disrespectful, and I am glad I held my tongue as I know I was not the only one in the room angered by the girls actions, you could see it on the faces and body expressions of quite a few women.
If this was my daughter, I would have had the respect enough to the other women in the room to keep my daughters mouth shut. I would have never let her rant on like that. I would have said something like "this is a topic we can discuss with the doctor, or one we can discuss at home, but this is not the place for that." If she continued I would have taken her outside and removed her from the area to let her rant and cool off.
What would you have done? Would you have help your tongue? Would you have ripped her a new one and explained that there are many women out there who would love to have babies that can't?
And on another note...what would you have done if this was your teenager?
Until Next Time:
Mom of Many
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