Facebook in marriages...do you think facebook causes problems in marriages?
A New Jersey reverend is "ordering" 50 married couples who are church officials to delete their facebook accounts or resign their positions in the church, saying that it leads to infidelity, because 6 couples in his church have had marital problems because of reuniting with past flames on facebook in a 6 month period.
Here is the article for you to read:
http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-national/20101117/US.Pastor.Facebook.Edict/
As a married person myself, who also uses facebook, and is married to a man of the cloth; I have a strong opinion about this. Facebook or other networking sites are not to blame for infidelity! It may make it a little easier for people to "sneak around" behind their spouses backs, but com'mon really, blame it for spouses cheating?!?
There is more to this, why are these people adding their ex's to their accounts, there is something missing from their relationships if they are allowing themselves to get caught up in the possibilities of talking to and reuniting with an ex lover. There are things going on much deeper into these marriages if they are allowing the temptations and acting upon them. What is missing at home? Love? Affection? Honesty? It started somewhere other than facebook or other networking sites. Who's to say that a person in any of the 6 marriages affected in this church wouldn't have struck up an interest in someone new using facebook, it just happened to be an ex. It could have been anyone, because that's what THEY wanted it to be, that's what they were looking for. They were looking for something that they were not getting at home, or they FELT they were not getting at home.
I just cannot see this justified. I cannot bring myself to blame anyone but the person themselves for their actions. Communication, trust, and honesty are key things in making a relationship work, without these no relationship is going to last a long period of time, unless both people just really do not care. Without these things in a relationship, that's when one or both spouses start looking elsewhere to get the things that they need; whether it be looking for a fling, starting to hit the bottle, or picking up some other bad habit, it all starts at home within the person themselves. Blaming it on the internet, facebook, bars, or anything else is just ridiculous. If a person wants to find someone else, they are going to, temptation is everywhere but whether or not you, yourself, act on it; that's the key question here.
I know many of you might now agree with me, and that is fine. Like I said before these are just my own opinions on the matter. If you have a comment please post it on our facebook page under the blogs link for today. Most of you who read do not have google so you are unable to post here.
Until Next Time.
Mom of Many
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